Too many toes

My brother, (one of the triplets) had a large growth on his foot recently. I didn't see it but my mother said it looked like he was growing a sixth toe. Last week he had surgery to remove it. During my coffee break I called my mom to see how he was doing and she was having a conniption. They changed the time of the surgery twice and then told her it would take a half-hour. When she checked on him they said it would take three hours. She was in the parking lot smoking and complaining. She went into a rant about St. John's Westshore being the size of a small city and I explained I was on a ten minute break and could only hear the first chapter of her dysfuntional tale. She asked, "You think we are dysfunctional?"

I replied, "Let's do a quick recap. Alcoholic father, agoraphobic mother who is terrified of chickens, father dies, mother remarries man who is a sociopath, cancer runs amok and now we have to deal with a six-toed triplet!"

She said, "I see your point."

My brother is fine, everything went well. Now he's at home watching reruns of Baywatch in a vicodin haze. Before you know it he'll be up and about. Just another day.

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